A Friendly Reminder

As I spilled my coffee and managed to get it all over a newly decorated wall in my room, I'm attempting to write this post again, for the second time. 

I've just seen an advert on social media for The Body Shop promoting their products as 100% vegan and cruelty free. I don't mean to be a crazy animal fanatic who wants to change the world and get everyone on their side (or maybe I should be?), but I urge you to think carefully before you believe such remarks.

The Body Shop are very falsely  advertising themselves as wholly cruelty free. Sure their products and their ingredients might never have even encountered a poor little bunny. But this does not excuse the fact that they are owned by L'Oreal. A company that is notorious for animal testing and selling in China. If The Body Shop have such strong ethics, why have they allowed themselves to be part of the cruel corporation?

It seems that their advert is an attempt to be fashionable and to appeal to the ever-growing culture of more ethical people.

But please don't be fooled.

Please always do your research.

If a company's Animal Testing Policy seems sketchy - it probably is.

Diary Entry of an Educated, Jobless Hopeful

Well I did it, I've resigned from my little job that was supposed to be pocket money during my university times. 

I've gone from having a passion for Drama and writing, to wanting to do a PGCE, to dropping the idea completely (with excessive costs, DO NOT drop out of University!!!), to doing an internship in marketing, to moving home and having absolutely NO idea what I want to do. 

Let's break it down. I went to University with a love of Drama. I come from a generation where University was definitely pushed (I am academic though so it was definitely right for me), but it was also pushed that you should study what you want to study, because a degree is a degree at the end of the day.

Whilst I was at University, I was thinking about how I could boost my application for teacher training. I had many years of school work experience under my belt, but nothing that stood out. Eventually I bagged myself a bit of work experience in a local theatre helping out with their summer school programme. Then found myself sitting in a job interview a few months later and got the job as a front of house assistant. I loved it, I absolutely loved my time there. I'm such an organised person that it suited me to the ground. The more I went to work, the more I got to know the workings of the place and how I could help behind the scenes.

But it was only meant to be a temporary thing whilst I was at University.

In the mean time, I'm applying for my PGCE, and already questioning if it's right for me, but brushing it off because 'it's my goal!' 

In my third year of University, I realise I'm SO loving my dissertation and writing about women in theatre. I love feminism!! I start to think about my other options - maybe I should be an academic?? But no, of course, teaching is my goal, brush it off and power through.

So I start my PGCE course, and I don't last long. The environment is too competitive and not competitive enough. It's uninspiring for me, and it's uninspiring for the children. I begin to realise that teaching of the arts in a world that pushes away creativity is not for me. And maybe the arts isnt for me. I'm disheartened and my spirits are dampened and I sign a form to withdraw from my PGCE course, pushing away my creativity and my love of writing.

I go back to my little theatre job, with an impending sense of doom washing over me. In the horizon I have a little internship lined up - but it's not something I've achieved from my own merit, I find out later that everyone who applied got a place. 

The marketing internship was great, I learned a lot and developed a lot of my skills. But I'm not sure it's what I actually want to do. The entire time I found myself racking my brain for other options and pathways.

So here I am:
I love writing academically, but I'm unsure if I want to pursue that, and by the time I decide I'll have forgotten how to write.

I've left my job. It isn't the best decision I've made, but it was right. I felt tied down to a casual job that prevented me from looking for something new.
I've applied to several different kinds of jobs. Unsure if I want to do any of them.

And I'm sitting at my laptop on a Wednesday afternoon with 'Baby-Faced Brides' on in the background, having a crisis about the rest of my life.

To be continued..

There goes the fear

‘There goes the fear, let it go.
You turn around and life has passed you by’

-The Doves

After feeling particularly nervy about something new I had to do the other day, I remembered a song I know that has the above lines and it just matches my situation perfectly. The time leading up to my new thing has been such a wash of fear that I’ve forgotten to appreciate the day – I’ve just been a worrypot instead!

The idea of pursuing something new is usually quite a scary one. Many individuals nowadays openly admit to having bouts of anxiety – but that doesn’t make the ordeal of having to go through something any easier.

Often our initial coping mechanism is to shut ourselves away from this fear – because that’s what it is, a response to fear. Shutting down and shying away from what we fear might work in the short term, but is the problem actually being solved this way?

I’m currently reading (more like flicking through when I need a boost) a book about anxiety called Dare by Barry McDonagh. I was immediately intrigued at the way he reframes anxiety and stress. His book offers a way to end periods of heavy anxiety, not just ‘coping’ with it. What I love is the way he suggests that you must repeat the mantra that you’re excited about what you fear – as the emotions are actually quite similar, it’s a good way to trick your brain feeling a little calmer.

I won’t give too much away, because it’s really worth a read. But I just think that he makes some incredibly interesting points about the science behind fear, anxiety and panic.

There goes the fear, you turn around and life has passed you by.

New Beginnings

The past few months have seen a multitude of changes in my life. I've walked away from things that have made me unhappy and welcomed new and exciting things that I think may enrich my life.

Because of this, it seemed very fitting to start writing again - but this time not sticking to something rigid like my old book review blog. There's no doubt about it, I still love my books and I still want to share everything I read, but I think there's more I can share, and more I can talk about. 

I love to write - I'm one of the odd few that loved writing a dissertation at University! So, without further ado, I give you a little re-branding of my old blog - a little bit of everything!

xx